Preggo Diary | Entry 1

10:11 pm  19weeks

“Not too nauseous anymore but I don’t know if sushi was the best move earlier. Otherwise, pretty comfortable minus trying to find a sleep-able position but the baby loves to lay on my bladder which has me sprinting to the potty all hours of the night so theres not much sleep involved anyway. I hardly know normal nights sleep anymore anyway. Don’t even get me started on these dreams I’ve been having lately…”

Do they really care like they say they do?

 “A hormonal pregnant rant”

Here we are, almost 2 years from the day I packed up my apartment and left my hometown to start a life with my love on our own. Oh, and also 5 months into the pregnancy.

Here I am, stuck with the thought: From the time we moved into our place (with extra guest rooms) only my brother, his wife and about 3 of my “friends” have ever come to visit over the 2 years. The same people who supposedly couldn’t wait for me to get settled in so they could “come stay all the time”. But ofcorse Summer has made the trip back to visit at least a dozen times. Keep in mind this is a 3 FUCKING HOUR DRIVE people, not a cross-country flight. At first it was understandable. I know things come up. it’s not always in the budget or work schedules won’t allow a trip but once it’s to the point that months go by and you still make excuses or your “still broke” it’s just a matter of priorities. Honestly, if we can manage to pull a miesly $40-50 out of our asses to make the trip, why can’t anyone else do the same? It makes me wonder… how long will it be before I see these “friends”, even family members (that I’ve lived with just about my entire life) if I’m not the one to make the effort? Once all my invites for weekend visits, holidays and events get ignored or pushed to the side and “forgotten about”? Once convos become short to none?  What If  I stop making these trips back to my hometown? Will it be the last time I see these people? Will they even notice the absence? If they do, will they even do something to change it? Doubt it… I won’t be surprised if we have the baby and none of my friends/ family show up after. 

I’ve honestly never thought I’d ever feel this betrayed by so many people who claim to “be there and care for me” Then again, not much surprises me much anymore…

Just another grown-up realization to mark down on the list.
XOh,  

-Summer   

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