My Top 10 reasons for FINALLY loosing the weight.

I feel like anyone who has ever been overweight, especially to the point of obesity has plenty of reasons why they want to lose weight. Whether it be for health reasons or for personal satisfaction…etc, we all have our own reasons why we embark on this this journey. Here are the 10 biggest reasons that motivated me to lose over 200lbs and gain my life back.

  1. I wanted to be able to fit into “normal” clothes. I was so tired of shopping in ONLY the plus size section of 3Xs when there was so many beautiful stores in only sizes (XS-L) and with me loving fashion it was so hard to keep up with the looks I loved because the clothes I wanted never existed in my size. As well as my shoes needing to be sizes bigger to accommodate so much extra width.
  2. Having a previous miscarriage and having the worry of future infertility. As I mentioned in my last post “Pregnancy after loosing 200lbs” I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in 2012. This was very hard on me for quite sometime. I believed the reasons were do to my body not being healthy enough to carry a child and because of this reason alone, was enough to make me want to change for my future “family” & children.
  3. I didn’t have health insurance and I couldn’t “afford being sick” I can honestly say this may have been my biggest motivation to lose the weight. Through my entire childhood – teens, I remember going to Doc. appts. and always returning home with bad news. I had either gained more weight, was closer to diabeties, blood pressure was through the roof, kidneys weren’t working right. All things that I didn’t believe I had much to do with as a child. I thought, as long as I take any medicine they give me I’ll be straight, that was until I was approaching 19 years old. I remember my parents telling me to go to the dr, dentist, anything I needed to because soon I would no longer have health care. By that time, I had constant knee & foot pain, I was taking blood sugar medication, I needed wisdom teeth pulled, not to mention, I was the heaviest I had ever been. I knew it was either “GET YOUR ASS UP!”… and do something about your health on your own or you’ll be in for a world of hurt, literally! The constant joint pain was so bad at times, I could barely walk… AT 19 YEARS OLD! I knew with my health problems continuing to multiply, there would be no way I could possibly afford to continue living the way I was. I didn’t have $ Hundreds to spend on medicine, dr appts, possibly surgeries… I needed to make a change.
  4. I wanted to prove to MYSELF and anyone else who doubted me that I could actually do it. I always lived amongst people who lived pretty unhealthy lifestyles, friends, family, coworkers, anyone you could imagine around me on a normal basis. So for the longest I didn’t even know what healthy living actually was and by the time I learned, no one was really there to support my decision to change my life. “Oh how many times did she say she was gonna do that?” “How long you gonna be on this “whole healthy thing?” “Are you done yet?” All things I remember hearing in the beginning. Many of them ate their words… some of them I don’t even speak to anymore.
  5.  I was tired of being looked at as a “slob”, lazy, someone who didn’t care about themself and the constant ridicule. I hated being judged on sight. Ofcorse anyone can be judged but the automatic negative thoughts/ feelings people have towards “Fat” people just blows my mind. I’ve dealt with bullying for so long through my life that it made me look at myself as a person I knew I wasn’t inside. I became what others painted me to be and it slowly tore me down more and more. I just wanted to. Be treated as a “normal” person.
  6. Missing out on many activities due to my weight/ health conditions I remember one trip in particular. Brooklyn, Ny. Me and about 6 of my friends spent the day exploring the city, but sadly, separately because I couldn’t physically keep up with the group. I hated the feeling of friends taking turns staying behind to walk with me because I couldn’t walk fast enough. I literally wanted to disappear. This being one of a gazillion times this had happened. 
  7. • The insane desire to finally be happy, content and confident in myself. Early on, I began to realize something about myself while growing up. I often stayed silent. I let people speak over me, cut me off. I allowed this without rebuttal and eventually it got to the point where I never stuck up for myself/ opinions. I let it goon for so long people started noticing. Some asked me about it? Why don’t you stick up for yourself. My answer was always… “I don’t know” or “I would’ve but_________.” So on and so forth. But the truth is I did know why. I WAS SCARED. Scared of what other people would say, what they would say about me to me or behind my back after. I let my subconscious take center stage while my true feelings were hidden behind an “Idgaf attitude” when indeed I did care… way too much.
  8. I wanted to “Meet the Real Me” …and by the real me, I mean the “Happy me,” the me who isn’t scared to be herself in the face of strangers, in public, even in front of myself.
  9. I couldn’t stand waking up and looking at myself in the mirror.       I Honestly couldn’t wake up in the morning, take a look in the mirror without being disgusted and so disappointed in myself.
  10. “I so badly wanted to wake up, tell myself “I love you”… and actually mean it.”

  11. I didn’t want to leave my family and loved ones behind. I was constantly afraid of just going to sleep and not waking up and with Sleep Apnea,  I would often fall asleep and completely stop breathing in my sleep. If not that, I thought I would have a stroke/heart attack due to my weight and health conditions.

So like I said, we all have our own reasons, these were my top reasons that pushed me through the my lowest points to where I am today. I continue to battle through some of these issues daily but, at the same time, I have overcome even more of them. Just another part of My Bloom 🌻

XO,

SS

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