Weight Loss Journey            ( Confessional 1 )

I was at my gym yesterday when a guy came up to me (Obviously watching my every move as I worked out) asking me if I’ve tried all these different workouts. While looking me up and down the, trying not to make it so obvious that he was staring at my stomach the entire time…

This pissed me off so much. He could tell I wasn’t really feeling the convo. I understand maybe He just wanted “to help” But he pays attention to everyone but himself and has the total “I’m training for American Ninja Warrior, so everything I do in the gym is right and you need to do what I’m saying” type of personality and grunts extra loud while lifting. I briefed him on my “fast” weightloss and explained that my stomach is going absolutely nowhere without skin removal surgery. he just gave me a disapproving look like “well you haven’t done enough.” So I just walked away but it was on my mind the rest of my workout, the rest of my day really. 
The fact that so many people try to tell me what I need to be doing to lose it kills me, because I do everything they’re saying DAILY without them even telling me. Thank you but NO FUCKING THANK YOU!!

 I have done absolutely every ab,lower ab workout and tons of running, yet my stomach pooch is still so dramatically noticeable. My skin was so Stretched For years, that it’s to the point where my extra skin in my lower stomach will never stretch back to size. It’s often the first thing people look at when approaching/ speaking to me and I often get rude/ offensive about it. I’ve tried harder than anyone on this planet possibly knows, yet  it’s still not enough. 

Though I am beyond proud of myself and all I have accomplished during my journey, It has not been a “walk in the park.” Obviously!

Now that I have reached my Original weight loss goal, I am on to my next goal of loosing 20-30 more pounds. I thought it would be somewhat easy since I lost so much this past year right? WRONG! Very wrong. I have been fluctuating between 195-210lbs for the past 8/9 months which has been beyond frustrating. while sticking to my healthy diet, pushing through my hardest workouts and making sure I switch up my routine every few weeks it just seems as if my body is getting to the point where it feels content with my size/weight and as I continue push, it’s trying to push me right back. 

This has been and continues to be the hardest part of my Journey. 😞

11 Comments Add yours

  1. nd101 says:

    You will never please everyone, as long as you are happy with your effort nothing else matters

    Like

    1. day1million says:

      Very true! Just one of my demons that get the best of me. 😔

      Like

  2. One word for those kinds of people – ughhhhhhhhh. Even though it’s hard, just look how far you’ve come already! I hope you are finally able to get over this speed-bump in the weight loss road soon. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. day1million says:

      Thank you my love. Appreciate your support

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yadira Alberto says:

    I’m having the same issue… I can see my skin starting to get loose the more I lose and it makes me feel a little discouraged like why am I working this hard not to “look good naked” I was never really the type to care what people ever thought even when I was at my biggest 230lbs you couldn’t tell me nothing so to speak lol but it sucks because now I feel more self conscious than I did before because when I was big everyone knew I was big and can clearly see it but not I look fit but I still know what’s underneath my clothes and sometimes I hate myself for being big and eating all the junk food and soda etc but then I look to see how far I’ve come and I never even imagined any of this would actually happen it’s just something that’s always on my mind and I’m probably going to have to get the surgery as well but a part of me doesn’t want to get it because I’m scared 😔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. day1million says:

      Exactly! Some days I feel like I was more comfortable being made because now so many people expect me to look a certain way because I look OK in clothes. But the insecurities are still there. Wondering why do I continue to push me if I know nothing will become of it except more extra skin. I just hope they will all be worth it one day.

      Like

  4. I too am in this same sort of motion where you lose weight and then suddenly everything stops working even though you are still going and the more you try the more frustrated you get and the less progress you make. This week has infact been the worst week for it. And although half my mind is like saying come on it’s not working throw in the towel it’s just not the right time … The other half is telling me to hang in there, along with all my other important people. So I have taken to relaxing abit. I still freak out abit by the stuff I shouldn’t eat for like the third day running but I’m like you know what … I need this I need this less ‘uptight’ version of myself. When people feed you the impression you will never be good enough it kind of lingers on your mind more then you think. And this is a phase I am in currently in. Just be you. Just cruise it and be happy and most importantly don’t be hard on yourself. One thing that is so easy to say because even I can’t do it even though I am saying it to you. You have come so far. Never forget that. It’s okay to cruise it for a while and sod what others think ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. day1million says:

      Thank you Cassie! This made me feel better. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one going through something like this, until someone comes along who’s going through the same thing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep all this week my PT has had to listen to my brain dumps because I am just so fed up of no progress. But now being so fed up I’m actually prolonging it 😂👍🏻 So yeh cut yourself some slack. As I have been told this week even if a few lbs go on its not the end of the world. You need your sanity to keep going. So chin up and just keep plodding along ☺️👊🏻 you got this! Just like I have in about a week or so 😂

        Like

    2. day1million says:

      & I keep positive and happy for the most part, but at times like I described, it’s so frustrating coming from strangers who have no clue how hard I’ve worked/ work.

      Like

  5. Yeh that’s one of my biggest issues too. If you have read my page you will know I have several disabilities which I fight to do better with every single waking moment. Strangers can cut me down in an instant. Because often they judge me before they know and by then it’s too late damage already done. It’s a weird one because a stranger can either increase your motivation by commenting positively and also decrease it by thoughtless comments. Why should we care what a stanger thinks right? But for some bizarre reason I do and I can’t fathom why? Maybe it’s because they don’t know me and look at me from face value 🤔

    Like

Leave a comment